Blessings

God has been teaching me about blessings lately. I mean, I thought I'd grasped that concept a long time ago. I always defined it as an unmerited gift from God, but the "unmerited" part never really sank in. I have subconsciously adopted a strict "no handouts" policy, even in regards to the Lord. I pushed myself to the limit, not wanting to let anyone say that I got where I was by riding on someone else's coattails. I wanted to deserve all the good things I got, and I was more than content to take the fall for screwing up. I was eager to show God how much good I could do Him, and maybe He would treat me with an ice cream sundae or something.

I never expected Him to completely spoil me.

But there's no other description for what He's done in my life in the past couple of months. He drew me away from a situation that probably would have destroyed my life and put me in another situation that feels like the beginning of a new life. I never saw it coming, and I know that I never could have earned it! Amazingly, He used it as a humbling experience. Only God could be that efficient! Not only did He pull me away from a dangerous position, but He used it to show me that I'm not as good as I like to think. I'm not used to feeling like something is too good for me, but I'm definitely there now. Sometimes, it is depressing, because I still haven't let go of that mindset completely. But for the most part, it's a relief. It's as if He just wanted to tell me, "No, really, you can't pay Me back for everything, and I don't want you to try. Just live for me, and that'll be enough."

What a God....